figures have come a long way, baby! Nowadays, you don't have to be a manly hero to pack heat or show off your daring-do. Recent
improvements in figure design and manufacture have helped today's girls of action shatter that outdated
sixth scale glass ceiling into a million tiny pieces, firmly putting them in a class all their own.
To Be or Not to Be... PINK... That, is the Question!
28, 2011 - by Will Hoover
It's true. Kids say the darnedest things! Take little Riley
here. Even at such a tender age, she really has an amazing grasp of gender based marketing strategies. And lefts
face it, there are clear distinctions between the sexes, aren't there?. Not always, I suppose, but there in lies
the true rub. Either way, I'm with Riley when it comes to her angst over the matter.
For starters however,
I certainly don't think Riley disputes that boys "don't want the pink stuff." She's just a bit
taken aback by the fact that there seems to be some sort of societal barrier preventing her from getting too interested in
superhero toys; which are typically supposed to have more appeal for boys in general.
Nor is she particularly seeking
to blur the lines between what toys may naturally appeal to girl or boys, necessarily. Nah, I think she just finds it
frustrating that it seems obvious to her that she is sort of obligatorily railroaded into "the pink aisles" by marketing
savvy toy companies and retailers. So, what IS up with that anyway?
I was a kid, I watched Charlie's Angels faithfully on TV and was pretty much in love with brunette knockout angel, Jaclyn Smith. The other angels weren't too hard on the eyes either, of course. At any rate, in my mind, I was
just another red blooded American boy and to me, even though I was really young, those chicks were smoking hot! And
even more, they were GIRLS WITH GUNS! They were "beautiful girls who live dangerously!" What healthy growing boy wouldn't like THAT?
though I doubt that I was scientifically laying it all out in my young mind in an empirical fashion of any sort; to me, the
angels were just modern day superhero types (minus the extraordinary powers), pitted against urban criminals and other nefarious
ne'er do gooders.
So when Hasbro came out with their Charlie's Angels line, I was like, "Mom! I want one of THOSE for Christmas!" Little did I know that that was NOT gonna
happen. No way. Uh-uh. No sirree, Bob!
See, at that point in my fairly new life on planet Earth,
the as yet more or less tangible fella named Santa Claus was still very much a force to be reckoned with when it came to requisitioning
So I figured, who cares what mom thinks! Although... there did seem to be a curious connection
between my mother and Santa, so I knew I'd better convince her first.
however, she quickly assured me that she was pretty darned positive that jolly old Saint Nick wouldn't be bringing me
any damn girl's DOLLS any time soon! Dolls? HUH? I don't think, at the time, I even knew how to reply to such a bizarre
Photo and Charlie's Angel's vintage dolls are the property of Nav Sikand
After all, pretty much all my toys were
based on human heroes and villains and were all miniaturized, posable play time pals.
They were all more or less based on popular figures of action and adventure.... Weren't they? I mean... they
were all articulated in one way or another. If the Angels figures were also appealing to squirrely
girls, so what? They sure looked great in Hasbro's TV commericials.
Oh boy.... Looking back at one of those
cutsey vintage Hasbro commercials, it's clear that yes, the Charlie's Angels line was very definitely aimed at GIRLS
and ONLY girls. Hmm.... What was I thinking?
Well, at the time, I guess my young mind was simply
too enthralled with what was for a time, my absolute favorite TV show.
To be certain, each amazing episode
of Charlie's Angels was a weekly romp with brave, bold and beautiful women who kicked nasty
criminal type butts, anywhere and everywhere their assignments from their boss Charlie sent them. Yeah, baby, yeah!
And come on, all of my action figures had varying
degrees of removable clothing (with the Marx figures naturally being the least versatile in that regard) so.... what, I wondered,
was the big stupid diff?
I mean, Jane West (Johnny West's slightly less high profile woman... friend... type... person) was a GIRL! Princess Wildflower was a girl! I mean, they even had boobies too! For that matter, so did my MEGO Zira! The Bionic Woman Jaime Sommers, even had a nice pair of nippleless plastic bazooms!
And I knew. Because I had SEEN THEM! 'Cause... psst! Give any normal kid
a figure with removable clothing with snaps or Velcro and at some point, the duds are
coming off, baby! If for no other reason than to satisfy any healthy child's sense of natural curiosty!
At any rate, I never did manage to acquire even a single one of the Hasbro Charlie's Angels action
figures... er... dolls... er... toys. Or... something. Feel free to pause briefly to mentally insert your marketing
category here, folks.
Burly, manly, ho ho ho-ing Nordic Santa Claus
'Cause... nope. No way, no how, was I getting ANY of the girly
little Charlie's Angels figures from burly, manly, ho ho ho-ing Nordic Santa Claus! Instead, I had to settle for
salivating over them and even... gasp... FEARING the fearless crime fighting trio themselves!!!
Yes, I even
had to fight the less than pint sized little plastic vixens off from time to time! I swear! They'd Judo kick
me in the shins and dance around me, you see, while clutched in the prepubescent paws of marauding girls on the playground
at recess during elementary school, no less!
So yes folks, the closest I ever got to the Charlie's Angels line of Hasbro action figures/dolls
of my naive little Christmas dreams, was having a maniacal, ranting, miniature Kate Jackson right up in my face, shouting perrenial grade school classics the likes of, "Go away, stupid boy!"
Yep. That's when the
girls running the usual proverbial circles around me with taunting glee truly learned to be "princesses,"
and I... learned to run like hell back to the safety of my G.I. Joes. Just as soon
as I got off the bus that evening, that is.
The amazing female figures you see here are just the tip of the iceberg. Below are a couple
of cuties from the Otaku Series of female Triad figures. Click on the picture above to visit the Triad
Toys website to see a whole lot more.